Also at http://reviewmehappy.blogspot.sg
I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this. But inspired by other posts, I decided, what the heck. I owe some sort of an explanation to those I bailed on/pulled a fast one with/neglected anyway.
This is going to be the most verbose post yet.
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Entering a new year, having turned down opportunities from the last. The Zoo would have been fun; the long hours would take me away from things. PETA would have been an eye-opener; the location would take me away from home. I chose to be safe. Safe is good; safe is familiar; safe is… safe.
February – April: The Musical.
Working with an amazing team, putting up a good show for kids. The chance to work with the creators of the two musicals that made my university life amazing. Feels like some sort of a full circle. A great two months.
April – July: Back to Work.
I realize I appreciate the job quite a bit more every time I return from a period of hard work. Which makes sense. The easy way out is easy.
Greece. The colors, the breathtaking sights, the financial crisis, the street life. Seeing the people and understanding the culture. Making the effort to remind myself to remember how the place made me feel, how it inspired me to do the things I should with the time I have.
Return to Singapore. Watch my life unfold into a B-grade Korean/Taiwanese/Chinese TV serial (think hooligans, hounding, escape, minus the TV glamor). Why me? Why this? Why now?
August – September: Reassemble.
Finding and treasuring what’s left, in the midst of life-as-I-know-it falling apart. Good friends give much needed support and the best friend stands by me. I live in turmoil, but am surrounded by love.
September – October: Reconstructing a Home.
Having lost the security in ours, we do what we do best. Adapt. While adjusting’s important, I search for a new place to call home. Not everything is within my control, but I must not forget the things I can (and should) change.
October – November: Finding a Home.
After what seemed like an eternity (that in reality was only a month or two), we find it. The place we wanted, that we would have liked to have in future if life went according to plan. We have it now.
November: Flinging myself out of the Comfort Zone
Before the Incident, I often found myself asking, When does it get better? When can I be truly happy? When is the right time?
After the Incident, I realize that the only question I had to focus on was, Am I brave enough to live a little?
I don’t know if it’ll get better. I may not always be happy. There will never be a “right” time.
I finally snap out of hibernation.
Enough incubating. It’s time to start living.
Under construction. It’ll be a while more before we can hopefully (finally) have our home. In the midst of recharging my life, I enter another with the best friend. It’s been a trying year, but I’m handsomely rewarded for the hard work. 12 months and many milestones later, I continue to embrace/grit my teeth through whatever comes. Life shouldn’t be easy, and that’s what makes it worth living.
I’ve lived another year. One that felt like 5 (or some other arbitrary number) combined. And relived a nightmare I thought was over 7 years ago. Most importantly though, I survive it.
I was forced to be brave, but then again, there isn’t courage without fear. My circumstances urged me to take stock of what I needed (and didn’t need) in my life. I said goodbye to many, but built stronger relationships with those I kept. I made (and continue to make) a conscious effort to cherish those who matter, and learnt to let go of those who don’t.
At the start of the year, I planned for many things. Now, at the end of it, I laugh at how none of the plans mattered (except planning for the holiday in Greece, that was important). Plans are great and planning is important. The thing is, for too long, I’d give myself a pat on the back for great planning done, then fail to move beyond that.
“I’ll do this after…”
“This will help me do…”
“I’m going to get down to it once I…”
It took the hardest knock in my 25 years to wake me from my close to 3-year slumber since graduating from school.
It’s the end of 2012, I’m 25, and I finally feel like I’m doing something with my life.
If not now, when? 🙂
Happy Source: Me